Saint Sabina’s ‘Purpose Over Pain’ bonds with grieving moms on Mother’s Day

 

By Chinta Strausberg

 

In remembrance of Mother’s Day, members of the Purpose Over Pain group Sunday helda press conference in front of the Saint Sabina “Memorial Wall” that displaysphotos of slain children, and through tears they clutched pictures of theirloved ones while releasing balloons in memory of their murdered children.

Asked about the stalled legislation calling for gun background checks and the failureof this bill to pass, Father Michael L. Pfleger said, “We have to fight forbackground checks and an end to assault weapons. We have to close all of thesehoop holes. We have to do it, and if we don’t, then the legislators arelaughing in the face of the mothers,” he told this reporter after holding a 10a.m. Sunday press conference outside of the Saint Sabina “Memorial Wall.”

A number of distraught mothers and Cook County Comm. Deborah Sims joined Pfleger infront of the “Memorial Wall” that is a stark reminder of the realities of gunviolence in Chicago. It even contains the photo of Pfleger’s foster son, JarvisFranklin, who was fatally shot on May 30, 1998 just a few blocks from thechurch.

But, before the conference began, Father Pfleger and several mothers had to consoleDonna Hill, whose son, Marshall, 21, was killed while he was inside of a fastfood restaurant. Weeping as she clutched a picture of her son, Father Pflegertold the distraught mother, “God is showing you. You could not have done thisby yourself,” he said reminder her of the strength she had just to join theother grieving mothers.

“Oh, Jesus, oh, God,” Hill lamented tears streaming down her face. “This is hard.I’m trying.” “I can’t sleep…” The mothers comforted her telling Hill, “Don’tlet the devil win.” The women bonded putting their arms around her as sheopenly sobbed.

Saying she does not know how she is going to get through this, Hall said her son wasinside of a North Side fast food store when “somebody shot through the window.He died inside. He died right there on the floor. I was not even a block away….I didn’t hear it,” she said referring to the death of her baby son. Hall has anotherson who is 28-years-old. Her son was killed three-months ago.

“They killed my baby. He had just left the house…. He said, ‘Ma, I’ll be back,” Hallsaid clutching a picture of her son. She said the violence has “got to stop. Idon’t know how to deal with this. I’m going crazy. I’m on so much medication.”Hall added, “If I wake up tomorrow, that’s fine and if I don’t, that’s stillfine because at least I’ll be with my son…. I pray to God every day, but itseems like he is just not hearing me. I just miss my baby so much,” she saidcrying.

Annette Nance-Holt, the mother of Blair Holt, 16, who was fatally shot on May 10, 2007aboard a CTA as he shielded a female friend, said, while celebrating women onMother’s Day, “It is so many of us out here who hurt and we suffer on Mother’sDay not that we want to but because that is where our lives who have directed.”

Referring to many mothers’ who were not there last year, Nance-Holt said, “they now haveto join this unfortunate club.” Quoting her late mother who died a year ago onSunday, Nance-Holt said, “Never give up. Never stop fighting, and never letanyone stand in your way and that is what these mother’s are doing….”

Father Pfleger prayed for the mothers. “We remember the sons and the daughters who arenot here to say Happy Mother’s Day, but we gather here in support of them. Westand here in the place of those sons and daughters. We stand here to be theirvoice to say thank you to those mothers. Thank you for them for the love youthey gave and the life they gave and that evil may have snatched the lives ofour children, but they can’t snatch the memories of our children….

“They cannot take what those children are and still mean in every heart and lifegathered here today,” said Pfleger. “And, even though the children are not hereto say Happy Mother’s Day, we know the children are at the throne of God andthere they are thanking God for their mother’s today…,” said Pflegerreminding them that they “are not alone.”

One of the mothers, Antoinette Banks, 21, the mother of Archie Lee Chambers, Jr.,who was killed April 21, 2012, wanted to be a physician’s assistant. “The lostof a child is a mother’s worse pain, but a tragic lost of a mother is a worsenightmare. We live a nightmare with each and every breath we take…. No one cantake the place of a child that is killed….”

Banks said “it’s a struggle every day” and said some thought about committing suicidewhile others wanted to extract revenge while other mother’s became very angrywhile some mothers simply wanted to be left alone. “The pain is unbearable, andthe tears are endless. Our lives are changed forever for our children remain inour heart.” Banks added, “A mother’s love is ever lasting.”

Clara Allen lost her daughter, Dominique Willis, a junior at Northwestern University,on July 20, 2007. She was in a car and was shot in the head at 104^thand Morgan. “The same thing is going on every day. We lose our children. Thereare people out here killing them….

“When will the change come for us? We stand here every Mother’s Day…the same thingover and over again standing here for the love of our children…. There is somuch pain in this crowd today. There mother’s are hurting…. Our hearts areheavy…. What can we do”?

Angela Blakely’s daughter, Janay McFarlane, 18,  was killed on February 15, 2013. “My baby walked out of a grocery store, and she was shot in the head….” She said her daughter left a six-month-old son, Jayden Conaway.  “I never knew pain until I got this call” about her death.“She was the love of my life.” She said her daughter was born on Christmas Eve and was the best Christmas gift she had every received. She is glad that she is not alone in grieving for her child. She had wanted to be a professional cook. 

Nance-Holt said, “It is so unfortunate that we have to do this in our community…tocelebrate Mother’s Day crying and grieving where in other communities mother’sare happy. Our children were snatched away from us. We didn’t have anopportunity to say goodbye. They were all doing the right things at the righttime…. Every year this crowd has grown more and more.”

Echoing what Father Pfleger said earlier, Nance-Holt said many mother’s hearts are sofull of grief they literally can’t get out of bed. “It takes so much just tostand here, and it takes even more for us who have been through this to watchthe new mother’s join us because we are letting our children die and this isnot what this is supposed to be….”

“I ask you, if you can do anything to make a difference to stop this killing, doit…. Do not let us suffer…. We don’t want to hear ‘God bless you.’ We want tosee some action. We want to see you write letters to legislators…march on CityHall…marching on D.C. We need you to join us and make a difference,” Nance-Holtsaid.

Father Pfleger said over the last year a rose farm in Florida created a rose bush “in honor of Coretta Scott King…for a woman who stood for peace and for love. On April 27^th that rose bush was planted at the crypt of the KingCenter in Atlanta, and last weekend it was planted in Marion, Ala the home of Coretta Scott King.”

Pfleger said her daughter, Rev. Dr. Bernice King, sent two of those rose bushes to beplanted by the Saint Sabina ‘Memorial Wall” “to show the King’s family love and standing with the mothers here today.” The two rose bushes represent peace and love and that they “would be a continual remember to the mother’s that the King family stands with you as they have lost in their lives, they understand your loss and they stand with you,” said Father Pfleger.

Sharon Miles said Cory Harper her nephew’s son was killed on July 4, 2012. She read the names of the deceased children. The other parents yelled out the names oftheir murdered children and after forming a circle, Pam Bosley, who lost her son, Terrell, to gun violence, asked them to release their white balloons that had their children’s names written on them.

Forming a circle, the mothers released the white balloons saying, “We love you….”Father Pfleger closed out the press conference with a prayer. “We should never let a moment of evil ever over power the moment of life. We should never let a moment of killing take precedence in our hearts and minds over the moments of when they lived, loved and laughed…. We thank you for life today even” though the mothers are full of pain.

“We thank you for love today…for our children today. Yes, it hurts to lose them,but God thank you that you gave them to us that we held them. We loved and we knew them because you couldn’t have shared them with us at all…,” Father Pfleger prayed asking God to “be their strength…their courage. Wipe the tears. Hold them in the palm of your hands and let them know…they are not alone….”

Chinta Strausberg is a Journalist of more than 33-years, a former political reporter and a current PCC Network talk show host. You can e-mail Strausberg at: Chintabernie@aol.com.